Endometriosis - What a Pain!

When I was 21 I was diagnosed with endometriosis after many years of battling monthly pain and being told to get up and move around, exercise, it was all in my head and what-not. The pain was excruciating and no one seemed to understand what I was going through. It was definitely not in my head and it was becoming dehabilitating and causing me to miss work every month.

Once I went in for tests, an ultrasound showed a growth on my right ovary and a laparoscopy confirmed that I had stage 4 endometriosis. The doctor told me the severity of it and when I asked him if I would be able to have children, he just looked down and didn't answer me. I looked at him in horror and said "Are you trying to tell me I can't have kids?!!!" He said that it would be unlikely. It was horrible news for me to hear. After all, my only real dream in life was to get married and have children. I really wanted to be a mom. Now that dream was being ripped away from me, just months after I had committed my life to Christ. I was a single woman and now that I knew I might not be able to have kids, what man would want me? Certainly not any man who wanted to be a father.

I was so mad at God. I thought He would make my life better and little by little He was taking things away. I used to have plenty of dates and boyfriends and now no one was asking me out because I was a Christian. I remember standing out on my balcony one night and looking up at the sky and telling God off and flipping the bird. Looking back on it now, I realize that was an awful thing to do but I was a new Christian and my world was falling apart.

We were changing medical insurance carriers right at the time I was diagnosed and they weren't going to cover me for the $189/month drugs I would need to take for the next nine months. My employer was an awesome and compassionate man who had treated me well. He called the insurance rep and said that if they didn't cover me, he wouldn't go with them. Needless to say, they covered me and I began a nine month regimen of Danazol.

Danazol is a synthetic male steroid which shuts down the ovaries for a time so there is no monthy cycle and you go into a pseudo-menopause. It lowers the voice, causes a boxy hip/waist shape and for some women, reduces their breast size significantly. It puts on weight and changes the muscular structure so that it looks like you're working out and ripped even though I didn't do any additional exercise or weight training during the time I was on it. I really didn't want to go on the drug but that was the best option for me at the time. Some of the side effects can be permanent. I prayed that if God was going to cause me to feel like a dried up female that He at least would allow me to keep some boobs. He answered that prayer, but I have never been able to get back to the weight I was prior to Danazol. I can be the same size in clothes as someone else and weigh 15 pounds more than them due to the muscle structure change. I also lost the ability to sing and went from a soprano down to an alto/tenor range and my voice cracks while singing.

Over the course of nine months I discovered that several other women I knew were battling endometriosis. One women had a full hysterectomy in her early 30's and another one was on Danazol too. Finally there were some people who understood. I found out that one of my aunts had never had kids because she had been diagnosed in her 20's with endometriosis and had a hysterectomy. Endometriosis tends to run in families.

The Danazol did what it was supposed to do and the endometrioma on my right ovary shrunk to the size of an almond after four months and was gone completely after nine months. As a maintenance program, I went on a birth control pill, continually, for the next 9-10 years with six month breaks from the pill every three years. I was able to maintain a pain-free life for several more years by being on the pill, but weight gain continued to plague me.

Some good Christian men started asking me out but once I told them about the endometriosis and the possibility that I might not be able to have kids, they immediately dumped me. The rejection hurt me, a lot. I still wanted to be married, and I still wanted kids.

I went to a Bible study in 1986-1987 and the leader of the study sent me a postcard and it said "I believe that you will bear children someday." I still have that card. Once I was reading my Bible and came across Psalm 113:9 "He settles the barren woman happy in her home with children." The verse sparked hope in me and I claimed it.

My First Teaching Job

When I began grad school I expected it to take two years of schooling before I would be able to apply for licensure. However, it came quicker than that. Grand Canyon University (GCU) told me in December 2006 that I should begin looking for a teaching job that would also count toward my student teaching. I found out that there's a Limited License option in Minnesota that allows teachers in training to be licensed to teach under another licensed individual.

I began looking on EdPost for business ed positions and the only one available was with an online charter school, BlueSky Charter School, based out of West St. Paul. It was a work-from-home position which sounded awesome to me! I called on a Sunday afternoon expecting to get an answering machine on which to leave a message, but the principal answered the phone. I inquired about the business ed position and explained my situation as a grad student. At first he said that I probably wouldn't qualify as new teachers typically aren't interested in online positions. When I told him that I've been behind a computer and phone for over 20 years and was very comfortable with technology, he suddenly became very interested and invited me to interview on Tuesday at 5pm.

The next day, Monday, I called GCU to ask if online teaching would qualify for my student teaching requirement. They said absolutely not, it had to be in a regular classroom. That was a bummer to hear... As I thought about it that evening, I felt it was probably not in my best interests to pursue employment with an online school if it wouldn't qualify for student teaching. I called the principal back and left a message on his voicemail telling him that I had to cancel our interview, due to the student teaching requirement, but hoped to be in touch with him in two years after I graduated.

The principal called me back at 7am on Tuesday morning! I later found out that he had gotten my message but when he called me he acted as if he hadn't and said he was calling to confirm that I was coming in for an interview that evening. I explained that I was sorry but had to cancel and had left him a message. He told me he thought that I could work for BlueSky and student teach elsewhere at the same time and they were open to discussing it and working out a solution! Wow! So I went to the interview that evening which lasted 1.5 hours and I was immediately hired at the end of it. They would sponsor my license and the business ed teacher, who had just been promoted to assistant director, would be my mentor. Suddenly I WAS A TEACHER! My career dream had become a reality!!!

As I drove home that night from the interview, I was dazed at how my life had suddenly turned around and could hardly believe I wasn't dreaming! Six months earlier I had been laid off from a corporate job and 20 plus years of deadend IT work. I had been working part-time for three months and struggling to make ends meet and had no benefits. I had been in grad school only a couple of months and then suddenly, in a little over 48 hours, I had gone from part-time Computer Lab Ed Assistant to full-time Business Ed Teacher!

I believe the Lord knew all along that He would answer my prayer for a new career by moving me in the direction of teaching. He knew this opportunity at BlueSky would come up for me and perhaps He had orchestrated the promotion of the current business ed teacher to bless both her and me. All the steps along the way, even my previous business experience, set the stage for teaching Business Ed. At the appointed time, everything fell into place.

God often works behind the scenes and we cannot see what He is doing on our behalf. Sometimes it feels like He isn't doing anything because He doesn't reveal Himself or His plans to us. But then He does what I call "a suddenly" and you get the breakthrough you've been praying and agonizing for! It's then that you realize that He was there all along, working out the details in order to bring delight to you with what He has done. To Him be all glory and honor!

Home Schooling

As a teacher with an M.Ed. in Secondary Education who had to go through major hoops to get certified as a business education and CTE teacher in Minnesota, I have a lot of mixed feelings about home schooling. I've met kids who have been home schooled successfully and who have small businesses of their own after high school or have gone on to college -- and I've met kids who were home schooled and they don't know how to read or spell well, and neither do the parents who home schooled them.

One thing I will say about home schooling is that typically the student is very respectful of adults and others. If they are from a Christian home they are often well-grounded in their faith. I do believe that home schooling protects children from the taunting and bullying that can take place in public schools and thus their self-esteem will be stronger.

A previously home schooled student signed up for one of my online courses. The parent called and complained to the school counselor that my course was too difficult and required too much time and they wanted to drop it. After talking with the parent and student, I discovered that they were only used to spending 5 hours per week on their studies for all of the subjects the student was learning. Certainly it was overwhelming for my student to suddenly have six courses and spend six hours per day studying. It was at this point that I began to seriously question whether home schooled kids get a quality education, particularly during the upper grade levels when math and science courses in the traditional schools contain geometry, trig, calc, physics and chemistry. Personally I would not be qualified to teach these courses to my children and I doubt whether all of the parents home schooling their children are qualified to teach those subjects. So how do they handle those subjects? Do they have someone else teach their children those subjects. Would that be legal if the person doing the teaching isn't certified to teach?

It is my opinion that the success of home schooling depends on the education levels of the parent(s) and their willingness to continue lifelong learning along with their children. It requires a lot of discipline and organization on the part of the parent(s) to set a schedule and stick to it when other things come up that may distract them during the day. The kids I know who are successfully home schooled also have a portion of their home dedicated as a classroom with educational decor and supplies. This helps to set the atmosphere that they are now doing their schoolwork rather than just playing in the home. Taking advantage of every educational resource available, learning to play an instrument, and participating in social activities at church and in the community will also help to contribute to home schooling success.

Life Begins After a Layoff

Late one night toward the end of March 2006, I flopped backwards onto my bed and asked God to find me another job. I told Him that I didn't feel like I was in the right place working at HTI and I was willing to make a change, even though it might mean not seeing dear friends on a daily basis and possibly leaving Hutchinson. I submitted a prayer to the Lord asking Him to find me a job that I would enjoy doing for the next 20 plus years. In addition to joyful work, I asked for enough money to make ends meet, for work that involved helping people and here's the long shot -- I asked for summers off so my children wouldn't be running around unsupervised as they grew up.

Two weeks later I got a six week notice that my position was being eliminated due to customer mergers. I was not surprised when I got the news -- and I was thrilled! I knew that God had begun to answer my prayer and I was excited for what the future held! People at work were surprised by my attitude as I continued to do my job with more cheerfulness than I had previously. Some thought I was in shock and didn't realize my situation, after all I was about to become an unemployed single mom. But I knew something good was coming!

The severance pay I received lasted me through the summer as I applied for various positions but only half-heartedly so. Being off for the first summer since 1980 was a treat and my children and I loved it! It was definitely something I could get used to but the bills had to be paid and fall was coming and the severance was almost used up.

A friend from church suggested I apply for a job at the Hutchinson Middle School as a Computer Lab Educational Assistant. It turned out to be a part-time job and the pay wasn't what I was used to making previously, but when I was offered the job I took it. The 2006-2007 school year began and when I walked into the middle school, I felt like I had come home. As I assisted the teachers and kids in the lab, I knew that I wanted to become a teacher. I loved working at the Middle School. For a time in high school I had considered becoming a teacher, but didn't want to deal with the classroom management aspect of teaching, and therefore had put it out of my mind and pursued other majors.

With a B.S. in Management & Ethics and over 20 years in business, my best option was to become a business education teacher. In October of 2006, I enrolled in an M.Ed. online program through Grand Canyon University in Phoenix, Arizona. (Please note that this is not the same school as Phoenix University.)

Little did I know that my journey toward becoming a teacher would become one of the greatest challenges of my life with many obstacles to overcome. Yet, it would also become one of my most exciting adventures!

A Balloon Bouquet and Flowers from God

As I was getting ready this morning I was reminded of a time back in the 1980's when I was in my mid to late 20's. I was living alone in an apartment in Bloomington and had been a Christian for about 2 years. I was finding the Christian life to be a struggle and not as much fun as I used to have before committing my life to Christ and pledging to follow Him.

One Sunday night as I was lying in bed feeling very single, lonely and depressed, I cried out to God and told Him that I wanted to know if He really loved ME -- or was I just one of billions of people in a huge blob of humanity to Him? I know that Jesus died for all of mankind and I was certainly thankful for that. But I wanted to know if He knew and cared about me as an individual. You may think that's a silly and selfish thing to think, but if you've ever been unbearably lonely in a large city surrounded by people, you might understand how I felt.

That night I asked God to show me if He loved ME in a way that I would know it was Him. I didn't specify how He should let me know. I just asked Him to show me. Yet, deep down, I really wasn't expecting anything to happen. I went to sleep and forgot about my request the next day.

I came home from work the following Wednesday and opened my apartment door. There in the hallway was a balloon bouquet! The balloons were attached to a long box on the floor filled with flowers and the milar balloon attached to it said "I LOVE YOU." I dropped to my knees with tears in my eyes. I had always wanted to receive a balloon bouquet with flowers and had never received one -- and no one else knew how much I had hoped one day to get one. Who could have sent them and how in the world did they get into my apartment? I opened the card which said "You are loved" on the front and inside of the card I was told I was special and how much God loves me. I suddenly realized that God had just shown me that He knew me as an individual. Only He knew how much I wanted a balloon bouquet with flowers and He was the first to give me one. My heart was overwhelmed!

I suspected that a human had to have gotten that gift to me so I called my landlady and asked if she knew if anyone had been in my apartment. She said a lady had come and asked to be let into my apartment and that it was urgent that she leave the bouquet. The landlady didn't let her in but took the bouquet from her and put it in my apartment herself. I got the lady's name and recognized her as someone from Grace Church Edina (now Grace Church Eden Prairie). She was someone I knew of, but not well at all. I called her up to thank her for the encouraging bouquet and she said it was from the Lord. She said the Lord had strongly impressed upon her spirit that morning that she should go buy me a balloon bouquet and flowers and write out a card telling me how much God loved me. I was totally blown away because I was virtually a stranger to her and yet she was willing to spend time and money to do what she heard the Lord telling her to do. She felt she was on a mission and rushed all over that morning to put together the gift for me, but had no idea she was being used to answer a specific prayer. I'm so thankful that she was willing to be His hands and feet.

The flowers are long since gone but somewhere in the many boxes in my house is the card and a balloon that says "I LOVE YOU." I will try to find it and am thankful that I was reminded of it today.

To those of you who are reading this post, please know that God loves you too, as an individual. You are not just part of the crowd to Him.

The Lord is My Provider

Two people from church showed up a couple of days ago. A mom and daughter came with a casserole for us and extra frozen food. As they were leaving another woman from church drove up with a Cash Wise box full of frozen meat and asked if I had room for it in my freezer. I couldn't believe it and was choked up and teary-eyed as I stared at all of the food and realized how much it would have cost me to go out and buy it. The really neat thing about this gift is that I had unplugged my freezer in the basement a few weeks ago when it became empty. Now the Lord has filled it up again!

It typically takes two incomes, in today's economy, to raise growing children and maintain a home and have a vehicle. We have been surviving on my income and sporadic child support since around 2001. In January of 2009, finances became extremely tight. My ex was laid off and I lost a significant amount of my net income which came from garnished child support. The kids and I have learned a lot about trusting in the Lord to meet our needs. Sometimes it's been scary wondering how we're going to make our last few bucks stretch between paychecks but the Lord has multiplied our dollars like He did with the loaves and fishes. I hope my children never have to live this way when they are grown. However, if they should encounter tough times, I hope they will remember when they were young and how the Lord came through for us, so that they will not be anxious, but will trust Him.

Roatan Mission Trip 2008 - Letters and Photos

I had the awesome opportunity to go to Roatan last year and have copied my daily letters to my church as blog entries below. I hope you enjoy reading them and that your heart and prayers will go out to the people of Roatan, Honduras.

You'll need to scroll down further in order to start with Day 1 and then continue up through the blog to Day 8.

I'm also including a link to the Spartanburg Angels website that also contains my letters and more photos from the trip.

http://www.spartanburgangels.com/TEAM%20ROATAN%202008.html

Roatan Mission Trip 2008 - Day 8

DAY 8: Hello church! This will be a short update because we're packing to leave tomorrow. We are leaving things behind for people and for the Inn and it feels good to bless and encourage people. Today was a free day for people to do as they pleased around the island. It looks like several of them forgot their sunscreen... Tomorrow our team will lead worship and do Sunday School and then we will immediately head for the airport to catch our flight out shortly after 1p. We will fly into Houston and then on to Minneapolis with an expected arrival time of 10p or shortly thereafter. We would appreciate your prayers that we would arrive home safe and sound to our families and we're looking forward to sharing more about our trip with you. It was awesome! Love, Gabra and Team Roatan 2008

Roatan Mission Trip 2008 - Day 7

DAY 7: Hello church! As I mentioned last night, we were dumping photos onto my hard drive last night. Johan wiped his photos off his camera and I had accidentally wiped mine off my camera but had them on my computer too. We decided last night that we would back them up tonight (Friday). This morning when I opened my laptop I heard the "You've got mail!" tone and knew that my laptop was working okay. Five minutes later I went over to my computer to check my email and I had the blue screen of death. My hard drive had crashed and all of our photos were gone. How was I going to explain this to Johan, our official photographer, and to the rest of the team? I felt sick and was devastated that all of the beautiful photos - over 1000 of them - were gone and some moments could not be recreated in order to retake photos. We also had all of the VBS kids' photos taken in order to finish a craft project today to give them a framed photo of themselves. I tried everything I could think of to get my system to come back up but to no avail. I cried hot tears and prayed for it to work and explained my disappointment to God and kicked myself for not backing them up last night. I prayed for at least 30 minutes and finally laid hands on my laptop and prayed that God would fix it and give me one more chance to save those photos. I turned it on again and it started to boot up with familiar words and images and I got hopeful and excited and I continued to pray it along. Finally my desktop popped up and my photos were still there! God was merciful and worked a computer healing miracle for the team. We got the photos backed up and tonight while we watched a slide show of them, I was so grateful to God for healing my computer! Today was our last day of scheduled ministry tasks so I'd like to recap some of the neat things that have happened. About 30 homes have water that didn't have it last week! The men really worked hard on getting these pipes up the mountain to the homes and make repairs to pipes that had broken. The jail ministry has been fruitful and several people prayed yesterday to receive Christ also, even more than on Tuesday! We're hearing from people that we've touched their lives and that lives are changing. We've been invited into homes and have been able to pray with people. In VBS today, several children wanted to ask Jesus to come into their hearts and members of our team prayed with them. While the kids worked on their crafts, we could hear them singing the songs they had learned from us. I spoke with two boys looking into the school from the outside and had them read the Bridge trac in Spanish. They read it and said they wanted to accept Jesus into their lives and so we prayed together and it was so cool! After VBS we were presented with a gift from the teachers and the class. We were extremely touched by the generosity of these people who have so very little materially, compared to us, and then they go and buy us presents. We gave them the parachute and balls we used for VBS which they liked so much. When we were ready to leave, the little kids came up to us, without being prompted and just hugged us. It melted our hearts and I don't think there was a dry eye among us. Our medical ladies have been very busy at the clinic and their help has been very much appreciated by Miss Peggy. The medical supplies that were sent will be put to good use. Early this evening some of us took the van to the West Bay at the end of the island where we drove up through high mountains where road signs warned of dangerous curves. When we got closer to West Bay we could see the sea on both sides of us. The crystal clear water and sandy beaches were postcard quality and the water was teal colored with turqoise in other places. The beauty of this island is just absolutely breathtaking and there were lots of oooos and aaaahs as we drove along. I was praising God in my heart for His workmanship and thanked Him for bringing me here. We had grilled pizza for supper and as always, it was delicious. The Lairds are super hosts and we're going to miss them, their hospitality and their gourmet food! After dinner we had a time of team worship and several people shared their hearts about this experience. We wish we could come back soon. I want to bring my children back here to see this incredible place. Several of us cried, including one of our two new team members, Clifford and Claire. They are two homeless locals who have ministered with us this past week. Clair told us she's going to miss us and she broke down and sobbed. We're going to miss them too. We've been stretched and challenged and have had to do things we didn't know we could do. We've shared testimonies, preached, witnessed to people on the streets and in jails and climbed mountains, withstood extremely heat and humidity and we're humbled that God could use us and sent us to Roatan. Love from all of us, Gabra and Team Roatan 2008

Roatan Mission Trip 2008 - Day 6

DAY 6: Buenas Noches! I wasn't the only one staying up late tonight! Darla, Laurel, Adam and Ginny stayed up and played some games at the table next to me while Johan, Celanie and I loaded more photos onto my laptop. I also demonstrated Skype to Darla as I was able to call my son today and leave a voice mail for my daughter since she didn't answer her cell. It was so neat to talk to Javon from Honduras! It's still hot, hot, hot!!!! My ankles look deformed and I'm retaining water like crazy. Several of us are going off Gatorade and going to water only because the Gatorade is too salty and we think that may be contributing to our swollen legs and ankles. Funny quote of the day, again from Diana: Bill said we could pet some dolphins this weekend if we wanted. Diana asked "Do we have to go into the water to do that? Bill quickly replied "No, they drag them out of the water onto the shore and you can pet them there." We all laughed! Diana provides a lot of entertainment with her comments. There's been a lot of laughter on this trip. Perhaps the heat is getting to us but I think it's more that we are finding joy in simple pleasures. We had a typical morning in la colonia. A funny part at VBS was when we were trying to teach the children how to play some games. It would take 20 minutes before they could understand what we wanted them to do. We tried Duck Duck Goose and I got the giggles so bad when a little guy tapped someone and then took off running around the circle... then out the school door he went and up the road a few yards! Once he realized he wasn't being chased, he came back in but I've never seen anyone do that before while playing the Minnesota version, "Duck Duck Gray Duck." We took photos of each child today and as I watched them line up and smile, some very shyly, I got tears in my eyes because they are such beautiful children. Many times Johan turned around after taking their picture and his eyes looked misty too as he commented on how beautiful they are. These are little kids about kindergarten age that we've been working with at the school. When they do their memory verses they shout them loud enough so that people going by on the road can hear them and it's adorable. I had the pleasure of spending about 3 hours today with the Laird family, our hosts here in Roatan. We drove into Coxen Hole, the capital of Roatan and did some shopping. It was fun to go into the stores that the regular people on the island shop in and I found some gifts for my children. I also picked up some spices because the food we've been served here is so flavorful that I just savor every bite of it. I wanted to spend time with the Lairds because I don't know when I'll see them again and I have really enjoyed getting to know them. Thank goodness for Skype so we can keep in touch! After we got done shopping we had our baptism ceremony out in the sea. Pastor Adam baptized Laurel, James and Johan from our group and four others were baptized by Pastor Chuck. It was a treat to be a part of it and I'm sure the baptism ceremony sparked some curiosity in the minds of the two mothers and their babies who were in the water just yards from those being baptized. Afterwards we swam for an hour and then prepared for a fun evening. The rest of the evening was a grand island experience for me and everything I have imagined that being on a tropical island would be like. It's so romantic! We went over to the Bay Island Resort where we enjoyed a hog roast and dined under a thatched roof cabana on the beach with tiki torches lit all over. Throughout the evening the sea turned various shades of blues and it was so perfect. A band played popular music and music with a calypso beat. There was a demonstration of how to punta dance and a nice breeze cooled us off as we took in all the sights and sounds. We were served pitchers of ice cold water and it was such a treat to drink glasses of real cold water. We've been taking water with us during the day in plastic bottles and jugs and it's warm. I've sort of gotten used to drinking warm water but at first I gagged on it and had to add some flavor to make it palatable for me. Some people got crabs tonight. There was a NASCRAB race for education after dinner and several of our team purchased three sand crabs to race for this weekly fundraiser. They had three heats and a final race. The crabs were placed in the middle of a circle and the first one to get outside of the circle won. As soon as the dome was lifted off the crabs, they took off raising to the guitar solo from Johnny Cash's "Folsum Prison Blues." The crabs raced in the final round to the tune of "We are the Champions!" Apparently they raise about $24K for education from these races. It was really fun to watch -- again simple entertainment. We no longer tell "fish stories", we tell "crab stories." The tropical island fiesta continued on into the evening and we enjoyed ourselves immensely! I'd write more but it's late and "What happens in Roatan, stays in Roatan! Hee hee! :) After the fiesta was over, several of us piled into the back of a pick up truck as Miss Peggy drove us along the windy and hilly rode back to the Inn. As we sped along in the moonlight with the wind in our faces, we laughed about the evening and yelled "Arriba! Arriba! Adelante!" and laughed some more. Love, Gabra and Team Roatan 2008

Roatan Mission Trip 2008 - Day 5

DAY 5: Hello church! Today was a busy day in preparation for the outreach we had tonight. We went into la colonia today and the men worked on some water lines until about 11a when it started to rain. The VBS is going very well at the school and the kids are so well behaved and appreciative of us being there. The afternoon VBS at the Inn has been more of a challenge with the variety of ages involved. Adam and Ginny have done a fantastic job of heading up the VBS. Our medical ladies were helping patients at the clinic. I think I heard someone say something about someone getting cut by a machete... yikes... As you know the team has distributed around 200 bags of hygiene items, many Bibles, tracs and beanie babies. We discovered that many people did not have a Bible and they asked for Bibles as teams visited homes. We said that they could pick one up at the outreach service and invited many people to attend. At first the crowd looked small and then people just came walking from down the mountain and over to the inn. It was a neat site watching the line of people walking in the dark alongside the road out front. We welcomed them, gave them some popcorn and koolaid and had a great program for them. They particularly enjoyed the drama. I think our drama team did a awesome job! Even the children stopped talking to watch the skits. The atmosphere was really neat and the stage where the worship band was setup was framed by palm trees. We think the crowd was about 300 people but Chuck, our host, estimated it at more like 400 and said it was the largest group he's ever had at his place. We know that one person for sure accepted Christ and there were several others who wanted prayer and tracs. The team members were seen praying with people after the service and three young men came to me and asked me to pray with them. People who had been talked to on the mountain about getting a Bible actually showed up and asked specifically for their Bible. There are too many things to list in this email about what happened tonight. Everything went so well and God has been working in powerful ways through everyone on the team. We've all been stretched with the work load and having to share our faith and God has blessed our efforts. I gave my testimony tonight which was something I don't remember formally doing since the early 90's. I managed to get through it even though I was choked up the whole time. I told my story about shattered dreams, wanting to be married and the struggle of being a single parent and loneliness. Afterwards I got an answer to a question I have had all week for the Lord, "Why did You want me to come here?" When the program ended my interpreter, a lady who has worked at the inn all week but who has specifically avoided conversation with me, came up to me with a huge smile on her face and she said "I have to talk to you!" She gave me a hug and said "The Lord sent you here so that I would know I'm going to be alright! She was just dizzy with joy and beside herself. I asked her to explain what she meant by that and we sat down in the grass and she said "When I was translating for you I wanted to hug you and I was trying not to cry because your story is the beginning of my story." She is now alone with two kids and was scared because she didn't know how she will survive on her own. Her kids happen to be the same ages mine were when I started raising them alone. She too wants to be married and said that no one in her family is married because most Hondurans just live together. Please pray for Esmeralda to trust God for her provision and that he'd really do some cool things for her like He's done for me. Lillian, a lady in a psyche ward in Costa Rica needs prayer as well, according to Joan. She asked me to send the request out for prayer for her. There are so many needs here in Roatan. We request that you pray that the needs of the people will be met and that they would know their needs are being met through Jesus. The heat has been very hard on all of us. Legs, feet and ankles are swollen and we're exhausted but we're doing okay. We really are enjoying everything. There is a lot of laughter and we enjoy our fellowship time together, especially the late night swims in the Caribbean by the light of the full moon! It's a refreshing way to get the sweat off us after a long, hot day. Tomorrow more go to the jail and we will have the baptism service at the dock at 4pm. We are hoping for a large turnout! Thank you for your prayers. Love in Christ, Gabra and Team Roatan 2008

Roatan Mission Trip 2008 - Day 4

DAY 4: Hello church!
Thank you for your continued prayers. We definitely need them and God is hearing and answering. You'll find out how as you read this email. This might be a longer email but a lot has happened today. God is moving in hearts here and He also protected us from harm and possible death today. I'll start off with some humor. We were having breakfast and talking about some things on the island that we can do on Saturday for fun. There's a zip line on the island and Diane wanted to know what a zip line was. It was explained to her that it was a wire between two trees and you slide down it. Diane asked "Will we hit the tree?" We all burst into laughter and said "No" and then I added that it's called an "Extreme Zip Line" when you actually hit the tree. After lunch the men on the water crew went up the mountain and they have gotten water to 10 homes so far. This is no easy task as the inclines are incredibly steep. While up on the mountain, some kids were sliding on a piece of gutter. They wanted Brian, who we call "Bob", to give them a push. He gave them a big push but with the angle of the slope, the momentum was more than he could handle and he ended up falling head first down the hill on his belly. He was able to come to a stop and get up before the kids noticed what had happened. However, some kids higher up the mountain saw it and teased him later about it. We all now affectionately refer to Brian as "Bob-Sled." By the way, Bob-Sled is okay and wasn't hurt at all. With the amount of rock, glass and garbage around, we are relieved he wasn't scraped up. He just had a lot of the brown dust stuck to his shirt due to the sweat. VBS went well at the school this morning and they loved the games we played with a parachute and balls. They were just shrieking with glee. They'd never played with a parachute before. We had at least 60 kids at the morning session in la colonia (the mountain village). The afternoon VBS was larger today with perhaps 40-50 kids from the Sandy Bay area. Our medical ladies are working wonders at the clinic with sorting through a big closet to organize the supplies so you can actually find and use them. Marlene drew some blood today and was teaching someone how to do malaria slides. Their help has been a great asset to the clinic. Several people from our team narrowly escaped a head on collision as they headed to the jail today to witness to the inmates. After arriving safely at the jail, the team was allowed in and taken into a dark hallway which was like a dungeon. Then they were locked in. They didn't know they would be locked in with the inmates and this caused some momentary alarm and fear on the part of the team because they had no idea what the people had done to end up in jail and they could be in there with murderers. They were reassured that the hard criminals are taken to the mainland and these people were just brought in over the weekend for petty crimes. The prisoners were very happy to have them show up. There were mostly men there and about 5 women. The cells were dark and some were completely without light so it was impossible to tell how many people were in those cells. The toilet is a hole in the ground. People's families have to bring something for the prisoners to eat or they will not get any food. Curt and Celanie gave their testimonies. Bill preached and Bibles were distributed and every prisoner wanted one. The team prayed with the prisoners and several prayed the prayer of salvation! Adam led the music with his guitar and when they did "La Montana" about moving mountains, everyone in the jail knew the song and they sang so loud that Adam and the guitar could no longer be heard. It made some of the team members cry to hear how much the people sang from their hearts. Another jail visit is planned for Thursday. Late this afternoon we went up to the village in the mountains to hand out bags with hygiene items, beanie babies, candy, Bibles and to share Jesus and invite them to an outreach tomorrow night (Wednesday) here at the Son Rise Inn. We drove two vehicles into la colonia, a pick up was the first vehicle followed by our van with a manual transmission. There's a fork in the road to get up by the school and as you veer to the left you go over a culvert. The road is washed out on the left side by this culvert which drains into a sewage ditch full of wet muck and garbage. I was sitting on the left in the first seat in the back of the van and noticed this part of the road as we took the left to go up the hill. As we headed up the hill, we didn't have enough power to make it and the van started rolling backwards. Then the engine died and we continued to roll back down the hill and veer to the left. If the back driver's side wheel would go into that washed out part of the road, the van would surely tip over into the sewage ditch. I panicked and started shouting "STOP!" I was praying out loud "LORD HELP US!" But we kept on rolling. I cannot describe the sheer horror and terror I felt as we continued to roll backwards toward that rut in the road. It was a sickeningly helpless feeling and my mind was whirling and dazed at the same time. I thought of my two children and that I just couldn't leave them and die crushed in a sewage ditch in Honduras and I prayed harder. All of these thoughts raced through my mind in the seconds that we were rolling backwards -- but it seemed like everything was happening in slow motion. Then I heard Jessica scream from the back seat "STOP! WE'RE GOING TO FALL INTO THE SEWER!" and the van stopped. Everyone in the back started yelling at George who was in the back seat by the door on the right to open the door to let us out because although the van was stopped for the moment, we still didn't know if we were going to start to roll again. George couldn't get it open because of child proof locks which prevented the door from being opened from inside. One of the ladies from the front seat got out and let us out. We couldn't bail out of there fast enough and we walked up the hill instead. As the van tried again to make it up the hill, it spun its tires and sent a shower of dirt toward us which smelled and tasted like manure when it hit my nostrils and mouth. As I was engulfed in that cloud of dirt, I just was so thankful to be alive that I didn't mind the taste of the dust cloud so much. This near accident was quickly forgotten, for the moment, as we split into teams and made our way up the mountain with our interpreters to share a trac about eternal life through Jesus with the people. Darla and I were together and climbed what was basically a washed out goat path to the homes up on the mountain. The people who live there go up and down with ease and the children run and jump on the paths. However, with my knees being bad, I didn't know how I could possibly make it up such a steep incline. But slowly and surely, Darla and I made it up the side of the mountain and distributed our materials. Everyone we invited to the outreach said that they would be there. We got an up-close-and personal look at the homes and all I could think of was that the animals in the US have better homes than these people do. I could not imagine living in these tarpaper shanties on stilts which keep the houses level as half of the house literally hangs off the mountainside. I also noticed that the mountain was "alive" in that you can hear all kinds of sounds on the mountain because there's no privacy. You could hear people talking, children playing, and all kinds of music going. I realized that kind of noise would drive me crazy if it were happening in my neighborhood in Hutchinson. But it sounded fun as I listened to it here in Roatan. Well, what goes up must come down! We had to figure out how to get down the mountain. The interpreter went first and Darla hung onto his shoulders as he guided her down the hill. I was invited to be part of the train too but I was afraid that I would slip and wipe out Darla and Elias and so I stayed back several yards. I kept thinking that I didn't want to be the bowling ball that wipes out two pins ahead of me on the path. At times I didn't know where to step and I'd grab a tree trunk or fence post to hang onto until I was sure I had a sure footing. I turned back to look up the hill and one of the women we'd spoken with was watching us and smiling as we looked completely inept trying to get down the mountain. I smiled and yelled "Gringos locos!" (Crazy Americans) and she laughed. I think she really enjoyed our visit. I still can't believe how people go up and down those mountain paths like goats. They try to carve steps but the rains come and wash the steps out. When we got back from la colonia, we had a wonderful supper and then headed out into the dark to distribute outreach invitations to the people of Shady Bay. Many of them said they would be there. One little boy ran up to us and said "That puppet show was fun!" He had been at VBS today. That was a blessing to hear. We finished off the night with some group worship and sharing time and then we headed to the beach for a moonlight swim off the pier. It was very refreshing. As I looked up at the stars, I realized that they're the same stars, hanging in the same place, at the same time as I see them each evening when I sit out on my patio garden in Hutchinson. What a huge universe and what a huge God we serve. Please pray for our outreach tomorrow night (or tonight by the time you read this). Please pray that people would be saved. A couple of people on our team have decided to get baptized in the ocean, most likely on Thursday or Friday! We are hoping that many will be saved tomorrow night and will consider joining them in baptism. Wednesday night is a very important outreach starting at 8pm CST (7p Roatan time)! Also, please continue to pray for our health and safety! Love, Gabra and Team Roatan 2008

Roatan Mission Trip 2008 - Day 3

DAY 3: Hello church! Today was our first work day. Bill, aka "El Capitan," was excited about the start of the work projects. He banged on everyone's door this morning at 6:25a telling us that we had a meeting at 7a. Most of us were late as we needed a little more time to get ready! After breakfast we split up into three groups: construction, medical and VBS. Four ladies helped in the clinic today, primarily with organizing supplies and the office. Several men took pick axes and worked on laying pipe for the water. This was a difficult job out in the sun as the area was difficult to dig in. There were layers of rock as well as garbage in the ground they were working with. Others of us, myself included, participated in a VBS program in the morning at the elementary school in the village in the mountains across from our inn. We did another one at the church here in the Inn during the afternoon. The teacher at the school is responsible for about 50 children -- and I thought class sizes of 30 were too large! We have seen incredible poverty while working in the village and it's really hit our hearts a lot. The ground is muddy, there's a lot of garbage everywhere and chickens are running loose all over, pecking through the muck and garbage. The area smells like a feedlot. One family's house consisted of four trees with tarps tied to each one and four plastic lawn chairs for furniture. A stove was made out of concrete with a thin piece of tin across the top. Some small children were running naked in a muddy ravine and we are worried about their health. Words cannot describe it, even pictures won't show you all the details of what we've seen today. The only way to see it is to come here. Yet, the people go about their daily life and they seem content. This is all they know so it is only from our eyes that they seem poor. They're clean and dressed just fine, the women's hair is done up nicely. They take pride in how they look when we come around with cameras and they want to look their best for our pictures of them. The children at the school had on crisp clean uniforms and you could tell their mothers had styled their hair. The children that came to the church later were dressed in their best for VBS. I talked with a young Honduran lady today and she said a big problem in Honduras is that people start living together at age 14-15 and some are having kids at 13 years of age. They don't legally marry here for the most part, and often the men will find a different lady and father more children with various women. She said it is common for a man to have 25 children from various mothers. Despite all of this poverty and lack of good sanitation in the village, it seems strangely comfortable as we walk about. Everyone is so friendly to us and we feel very welcome here. They appreciated the shampoo our men working on the pipes gave them today and some immediately started washing their hair. It's been another very hot day but we have gotten used to being sweaty and shiny all of the time. As you will see from a slideshow sometime, we definitely are looking less than our best but we're family! The guys on our team have been walking around very sweaty from their work but so far I haven't noticed that any of them stink. Ha! I think we have all been detoxified with this natural sauna! I haven't had any asthma problems which is really neat. I thought it would be worse here but I'm breathing better than I have for a long time. Something rather funny tonight was when several of us were watching as Johan tried to entice a big blue crab out of its hole under the deck. We were on our knees and bellies in a big circle, heads together, peering through the slats in the deck with flashlights. Johan dangled a string and the crab would grab at it but then it would run back into it's hole. As we worked on this crab, Bill came along and wondered what in the world we were all doing on our knees with our faces to the boards. We realized that simple entertainment such as luring a crab out of its hole can be as entertaining or even more entertaining than a movie. We also enjoy cheering on the geckos as they run after bugs and when the bugs get away a disappointed chorus of "OOOOOoooooohhhhh" goes up from the group. We have been humbled by the hospitality of our hosts and the way they spoil us. Again we were served a fabulous breakfast, lunch and gourmet dinner. We thought we were going to starve on this trip and instead we have enjoyed flavorful, hearty meals that can rival any five star restaurant and dessert is even included every night! Please continue to pray for our team, our hosts at the Inn, the Spartanburg Angels, other missionaries here at the Inn, and of course the Honduran people to whom we will be ministering. Please continue to pray for our safety, health and for hearts to be reached for Jesus. In addition to our regular work tasks tomorrow with the construction, clinic and VBS, some people will visit the jail and we will distribute bags of hygiene items to people in the area along with a trac in Spanish. I'm attaching some photos and hope you enjoy them. Love in Christ, Gabra and Team Roatan 2008

Roatan Mission Trip 2008 - Day 2

DAY 2: Hello church! Here is the update for Sunday, June 14 from the beautiful island of Roatan! We led worship this morning at Calvary Church here at the inn. It was fun and the people said they really enjoyed it. Adam does a great job of singing in Spanish! After church we had Sunday schools for all the kids and I was really impressed at how bilingual the children are at a young age. Most of the people we've met so far speak English. After church, our hosts, Chuck and Tia, fed the whole church a wonderful lunch. They eat dinner as a church every Sunday! What a ministry they have here! This afternoon some of us went swimming and snorkeling and diving. I sat in the cabana and had an ice cold coca cola and it tasted so good! I went back out on the dock where everyone noticed that my arms and legs were full of red spots the size of peas with little red dots in the middle. Several sand flies had had me for lunch! It looks like a terrible disease but they don't itch too bad and the spots will go away eventually. Several of us then went on a drive to the West End of the island where the sea and the beach is postcard perfect and the bustling village is quaint and charming with several brightly colored souvenir shops along narrow dirt streets. At 4:30p we split into two teams and went through the village of Sandy Bay handing out invitations to the little kids for VBS starting tomorrow. They were well received and I have a feeling that we are going to have quite a crowd this week once the word gets around. As we walked we saw unbelievable poverty in paradise. The contrast between the beauty of the landscape against the homes, which in the US would be considered uninhabitable and condemned, was really a stark contrast. After handing out fliers we were treated to another awesome, flavorful dinner at the Inn. We were also invited tonight to sing some songs and share testimonies at a charismatic church halfway up the mountains across from our inn. Most of us were tired and the thoughts ran through our mind that we'd like to just stay at the inn and relax for the evening -- but we drove up to the village because we were honored to be invited and we're glad we did. As we got closer to this church that resembled my old horse shed with gray, concrete walls and a corrugated, metal roof, we heard loud singing and the beat of drums and tambourines. It was standing room only as people spilled out of the church onto the street and more were still walking up the dirt road in the dark wearing their best clothes. The uplifted hands and passionate praise of these people who materially have nothing, by American standards, broke my heart and I just cried and cried as did others. The tears just kept pouring down my face as I watched these people singing their hearts out to the Lord. God's eyes roam to and fro across the earth and tonight I'm sure He was exceedingly pleased with the offering of praise that was coming up to Him in the dark night from a tiny church in a little mountain village on the small island of Roatan. It was a humbling experience. What a privilege it is to be here. As I close this email for the evening, we request and would appreciate your prayers for the following: We start running two VBS's per day Monday-Friday, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. We have supplies for 50 kids but it looks like we may have way more than 50 kids showing up each day. Please pray for God to do "loaves and fishes" with the supplies that we have.

We will be working on 3 different construction projects while we are here. Clinic work starts Monday for Darla, Laurel, Marlene and Joan. Marlene gets to help set up the new lab too.
Tuesday and Thursday is a jail ministry day. Starting Tuesday each afternoon we'll go to the village to hand out hygiene packages and share Jesus with the people.

Thank you and God bless you! Gabra and Team Roatan 2008

Roatan Mission Trip 2008 - Day 1

DAY 1: Hello church! This is Gabra and I'm the official scribe for Team Roatan 2008. I'll be sending emails daily on behalf of the team to share with the church what is happening on our trip and Judy Otto will forward them on to the church. Thanks, Judy! As I start this email, we are watching geckos chase bugs across the walls in the dining room! The geicos are our friends as they help to keep the mosquito population down! None of the geicos has tried to sell us any insurance yet and they don't have an Australian accent, they chirp. I remember once thinking that I never wanted to go to places where creepy crawly things moved on the walls and ceilings. God has a sense of humor! I asked if they will crawl on us during the night and was told that they stay up on the walls and ceilings. Whew! Adam walked into one of the guest rooms with his equipment and saw a cockroach the size of a mouse. It died by stoning. On the flight from Minneapolis to Houston Friday night, we were blessed with a brilliant cloud display as we went around a huge thunderstorm. Various hues of pink, orange, purple, blue and yellow turned the clouds into something similar to the Grand Canyon of the sky with poofy cotton balls thrown in. It was absolute splendor! The flight was perfectly smooth, no turbulence, and as I looked out the window I could sense the Hand of God was on that plane and that He was giving us a spectacular show to look at out the window as we started our trip. The Lord has already been moving in neat ways. We loaded our suitcases with medical and construction supplies. We also bought a four foot level to bring down to SonRise Inn so that they can use it for their construction projects. We were told by several ticket agents that we would not be able to bring the level through security. We prayed over the level and it went through Minneapolis with supervisor approval. We were told it may not make it through Houston though. Gabra's bag was searched in Minneapolis for a large dark object which turned out to be her Spanish/English Bible. However, we lost four containers of PVC pipe glue as it was flammable. Thankfully, the rest of the flammable canisters of glue made it to Roatan without bags being checked! In Houston, the level went through x-ray and the security guard said he was thinking of buying a five foot level! So we were thrilled that the level made it to Roatan. We disembarked in Houston around 10p Friday night and got our first taste of extreme heat and humidity compared to what we're used to in Minnesota. Everyone was in a sweat and we all realized that we all will look the same: wilted and sweaty (sometimes stinky) and that since we all look that way, we won't worry about trying to impress anyone too much! It's super hot and humid in Roatan and we are constantly soaked with sweat and have very dewey and shiny faces! We left Houston for Roatan today. Adam got detained at security in Houston for about 15 minutes as they wanded him and searched for whatever might have set off the alarm. He was inside this clear bulletproof cubical with his arms outstretched for about 15 minutes as we all watched, pointed and giggled at him! It turned out to be foil from chewing gum. Laurel McKeever and Darla Keith met us at the Houston airport after getting up at 2am to make their flight to Houston. That's dedication! We all arrived safe and sound in Roatan this afternoon with all of our suitcases and were met by prearranged customs officials, Banjo and Orlando, who took care of getting over 50 pieces of luggage through customs without any issues. We are settled in at the SonRise Mission Inn which is about 100 yards from the beach. Our hosts are great and have prepared delicious food for us for lunch and supper. We all have jobs to do at the Inn too. I'm the water girl and my job is to keep the water coolers filled with water throughout the week. The others have to wash dishes one night this week. I think I got the better deal! The septic system isn't very good here so we are not allowed to flush ANY used toilet paper. But it could be worse! One of the highlights of the day was taking a swim in the ocean! After being sweaty all day, we all donned our suits and headed to the pier. Some of us, me included, bounced our way down the steps into the water after biffing it on the slippery stuff on the steps. The back, ankle and backside pain only lasted a few minutes thankfully! The water temperature was like bathwater and it was absolutely wonderful swimming around in such a beautiful place. Those of us with natural lifejackets don't even have to tread water -- we float upright like bobbers in the salt water. Another highlight of the day was taking a ride to the Bay Island resort where we saw beautiful gardens with huge, gorgeous flowers all over the place. The vegetation and flowers here are absolutely beautiful! The variety of flowers, flowering shrubs and trees display the creative handiwork of God. We ask for your continued prayers for our safety and health and for Pastor Adam who has had some dizziness with the heat and he has to play the guitar and sing. We had a sweet time of worship tonight and met two other missionaries from New York who work at the clinic. We also ask that you would pray for our ministry to be fruitful as we will lead the worship service and Sunday school tomorrow. Well, I'd best go for now. It is now 11:23p your time and only two of us are still up. I'm in the cocina at the kitchen table and I can hear something rustling around in a cupboard by the water spout so I think I will fill the jugs tomorrow morning and head back to my room! I'm leaving you with some photos of the scenery on this island so you can see how terribly we are "suffering." :) Love in Christ, Gabra and the rest of the Team Roatan 2008

David Phelps Singing Nessun Dorma

I saw David Phelps in concert as part of the Gaither Homecoming concert at the Target Center on May 30, 2009. He was awesome when he sang Nessun Dorma, an operadic song. He raised the roof and I thought I was going to be lifted out of my chair. I've added it as a link on the left for your listening pleasure. This is an example of true vocal quality, clear and rich, the way God intended it to be with angelic quality.

People Improve with Age

I was watching The Nanny tonight (Episode: A Kiss is Just a Kiss) and Fran was bumbed out because of her age and she was up in her room depressed. Mr. Sheffield felt sorry for her and came up to her room to encourage her. He said something very beautiful that really touched her, and me, to hear it. He said "People improve with age, like fine wine... especially a beautiful wine that's robust and earthy, yet sweet and strangely compelling."

Is that romantic or what? I certainly have the robust thing going on! Aahh... I sure wouldn't mind hearing something like that from a man some day... especially considering the fact that I will likely be years older than I am now when someone finally comes along. (I'm trying to use positive words here, like "when" and not "if.")

The Nanny is enjoyable for me to watch because I can relate to her a little bit. She waits, for years, for Mr. Sheffield to finally notice her as more than just the nanny... and finally, he does!

Welcome to my blog!

Hello to those of you who might be reading this blog. I just started it today as an outlet for my thoughts and questions about life, parenting, marriage and singleness, politics and religion and whatever else may come to my mind! Hmmm... it might just be about a lot of those topics that seem to be taboo to talk about in face-to-face conversations, ha! Could get interesting!

So, stay tuned for more updates in the future as I begin this new adventure of blogging!

The Saxy Lady